Why I volunteer for Oyako no Kizuna forJAPAN

Introduction.

Oyako no Kizuna for JAPAN certified as a non-profit organization by the Tokyo Metropolitan Government in March 2024The following is a list of the most common problems with the

In the course of its work with divorced parents and their children, it continues to receive volunteer applications from housewives and minors who have never experienced divorce.

For this interview, we asked Ms. O, a mother who started volunteering with our organization while raising her children, about the background of her participation.

A conversation between Mr. O and Oyako no Kizuna forJAPAN

Why I applied to volunteer at PCB

Nice to meet you. I am a mother of a college age son and a high school age daughter. I have been married for 20 years and have never been divorced.

I lived in Sendai City, Miyagi Prefecture, until my mid-twenties, when I got married and began living in Tokyo. After giving birth, I devoted myself to raising my child and returned to the workforce when my child started school. For the past 10 years, I had been busy but fulfilled balancing work and family life, but when my son left home to go to college, I had more time on my hands, and I began to feel a sense of emptiness because my role as a mother had diminished. I wanted to find a new purpose in my life, so I was looking for a place to volunteer.

I thought, "If I am going to volunteer, I would like to do it in a field related to child-rearing support and child abuse prevention," and then I came across an ad for a position with Parent-Child Bonds forJAPAN (PCB), which works on joint parental rights and joint child-rearing.

I have not gone through a divorce,Foreign movies and dramas show frequent interaction between both parents and their children after divorce.I thought it was different from Japan when I saw parents communicating frequently with each other. When divorcing in Japan, the mother has sole custody of the child, and it is easy for the mother to get custody of the child,It is customary to have little or no contact with noncustodial parentsI think it is.

I too had accepted the Japanese divorce style as a matter of course, but I became interested in the issue of post-divorce parent-child disconnection when I saw the PCB website, and from there I did a lot of research and learned that today there are many parents and children suffering heartache due to this issue, and I wanted to know more about it.

What I Think as a Parent About "Children's Rights

I like children.Every day I am happy to be with my children and proud to be alive as a mother.I am very grateful to you. Thanks to this, my own life has become richer. And I hope that my child will be able to live with that same happiness as I did.

However, from my own experience, I believe that parenting tends to be a self-indulgent process. In my case, I often imposed my own values on my children, saying, "This is the best choice. Even when I disagreed with my children, I was justified by the common belief that "I am the custodial parent, so I have the right to make the decision. However, I had an experience that made me realize that this was a mistake.

In the winter of my son's sophomore year of high school, when he was preparing for the university entrance examination, he started saying that he would no longer go to cram school! I was surprised, and I argued against it, but he persisted in his decision and quit the cram school. As a result, he drew his own roadmap for studying for the entrance examination and achieved his goal. It was a remarkable accomplishment, and I feel that my son has grown a lot through this process. Because he made his own decisions, he was aware that everything he did was his responsibility. Looking back on that experience, I am glad that I ultimately respected my son's choice. I am glad that I did not tell him at that time to "definitely go to cram school. It would have taken away his motivation and freedom.

From this experience, I came to strongly feel that education that does not crush the child's will is the key to developing the child's own zest for life.As parents, it is more important to give children their own choices and possibilities than to assert parental responsibility and rights.I think that's what it's all about. At least I feel that is true parental love. That's why I joined PCB this time.We wanted to participate in activities to protect the rights of children.

Yes, I have. I used to be an emotional mother to the point of embarrassment, but after that experience with my son, my own thinking has changed.

I realized that it is not right to impose my values and interests just because I am a parent.I did. Parents are absolute monarchs in the house. Young children cannot resist. SuchI believe it is important as parents to give our vulnerable children hope for life, to give them options so that they can look forward to the future, and to show them the wider world.

Problems with Japan's Custody System and PCB's Activities

Actually, I had a negative image of it at first.
Until now, it has been easy to gain custody of a child simply because of the attribute of being a mother, but if that position were taken away, women would be at a disadvantage.

However, my image has completely changed after learning about the PCB's activities and overseas studies and cases. I now believe that the introduction of joint custody is a very meaningful system that places the highest priority on the interests of the child.

Compared to the rest of the world, Japan lags behind in the introduction of joint custody, and I have heard that one of the reasons for this is the family system. I do not think it is a bad thing that the Japanese people have an ingrained way of thinking, but women are now entering the workforce more and more, and awareness of male parental leave is spreading. I believe that proactively adopting new ideas as times change will contribute to the development of our culture.

As the revised Civil Code is about to be enforced with the introduction of joint custody, we need a lot of information, including overseas cases, so that everyone can do case studies on the operation after the enforcement.

I stumbled upon their website for volunteer information and contacted them to at least hear what they had to say. I learned that it was a newly established non-profit organization.The fact that it was just after the Civil Code amendment introducing joint custody had been enacted made it attractive to me! I was attracted to the fact that the momentum of the project was so strong.

Also,At first, I was a little afraid that "men who had lost custody of their children due to divorce might get together and engage in anti-women's sovereignty activities.When I frankly expressed my concerns, I was told to "judge for yourself," and when I attended a study session with the legislator along with the interviewer and spoke with other members, I was pleasantly surprised to find a world that was completely different from the one I had imagined.

It was a group of people who were serious about changing society.Always focusing on the happiness of the children in terms of legal and administrative issues, culture and people's values, and dealing with social issues rather than individual problems.They were people.

Although I am not a party to the divorce, I was convinced that I could unite with these people to confront social issues and decided to work with PCB. I am sorry that I mistakenly thought it was an organization that hates women (lol).

Began working as a public relations and fundraiserI did.

I thought volunteering was just doing the work I was told to do, but PCB was different. First, I was asked, "What do you want to be doing in five years?" and I was asked, "Please do activities that will help me do that for PCB.I was happy and refreshed that they were even aware of my own personal growth.The following is a list of the most common problems with the

After some thought, I told them I wanted to learn about fundraising, which had been on my mind for some time.We want to be a bridge between outside organizations, individuals, and companies and the future of our children.I believe that this is a good idea.

PCB is staffed by professionals from a variety of fields, so you can be sure that we will provide you with the best support.I had a realistic vision in my mind of my future, where I would contribute to the future of children while acquiring skills. I had a realistic vision in my mind of a future where I could contribute to the future of children while acquiring skills here.

Finally.

Many PCB members are friendly and fun to work with. They are also excellent at their jobs, and I learn a lot just by watching them.

We are a new organization that has just been established, so it will be interesting to work together with them through trial and error.

When I applied for the job, I thought I would help with what was asked of me, but before I knew it, I had taken the first step toward a parallel career. This is perfect for those who want to take on new challenges.

We would be very happy if we could work together with you to solve social-scale problems so that we can be a source of hope for children who are suffering due to divorce.

Oyako no Kizuna for JAPAN is always looking for volunteer members. If you are interested, please feel free to contact us using the form below.